In the beginning of our “Stay at Home” adventure I saw it as a way to take advantage and write more and work on books and classes. I also decided to take the social distancing recommendations to a completely different level. I reduced my social media interactions to a minimal, only going on, mainly if I am directly contacted or for promotional reasons. It was also a way for me to check on people without having to contact them respecting that they are dealing with their own handling of the situation. From having kids at home all day, working from home, and the anxiety of pending doom. However, over the last few days it took a different grimmer turn. On the moments I do find myself on Facebook, I am confronted with more and more people in my circle that have either contracted or have passed from the coronavirus. Even with all this I have tried to look for a personal silver lining in all this. With having extra time, I have been forced to do a lot of introspection. Unfortunately, with my own anxiety looming over, I have had a hard time connecting to my higher and lower self. So, I started to look at the outer aspects of my life, especially regarding my relationships. As I started to pull away from social media, I began to see less and less communication with those I thought I was close too and who had a place in my life. I did take into consideration that everyone is dealing with this differently, yet it seemed that if I didn’t take the initiative or continue what communication there was, I heard nothing. This was where I began to turn my introspection into extrospection. Unbeknownst to me, it actually caused introspection, as I started to question myself how and why this affected me. Which caused me to investigate where things might need to change or find a new direction. The problem here was I couldn’t consult my guides because of my anxiety. From this I began a rigorous routine of meditation to help ground and cope with my anxiety.
Having so many questions and not being able to turn to my guides for direction has resulted in even more anxiety. I find myself going in circles to try to find a direction. I decided to take it day by day working only on the tasks and issues of that day knowing eventually I will find my path’s direction again. As a reader, I have always found it hard to read myself, so during this time I have turned to those I trust. I feel like I have turned into the types of seekers that get 100 readings in a week to obtain the answers I want to hear. Funny thing is I did get want I wanted to hear, that all will be good, and I will overcome all the obstacles. I just question what those obstacles are, how do I get through them and where is my path headed.
The hardest part of all this has been seeing the truth about people and having to slowly cut people out of my life. I know I am not alone as others have also been experiencing the same in revealing the liars, “victims”, the harmful, manipulators, attackers, and those who rather see failure for their own selfish needs or revenge as well as their supporters. I know that this was something that I have been putting off avoiding the heartache, but also know that it is for the best. It is what must happen to move forward and grow. So, in the darkness of all that is happening around us, we must find the silver lining to be able to get through the darkness and eventually find the light of a new day. Make the most of this time, whether it is being able to spend more time with family, catching up on Netflix, starting projects that you have been putting off, or taking a deeper look at your life and find the light in the dark.